I took the plunge

I did it.
I finally was able to put aside the feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach and I did it.
It wasn't easy and I'm not sure I'm totally happy with the results, but I'm not sure I ever will be.
I
bought
a
new
bathing suit!
I think I hate purchasing that article of clothing more than anything else. But I am determined not to be kicked out of the pool just because of my low self image. I am determined to over come my obsession with what others think of me. So at my DH's urging (my old bathing suit was getting pilly and see throughish - plus it was ug to begin with) I got a sensible one piece that I can swim with the kids in and not worry about it falling down or swooshing up.
It covers as much of my butt as possible and keeps my girls in place. It is brown and has a little wooden decoration sitting just in the middle of my rib cage.
It's ok, nothing else. It doesn't magically turn me into a supermodel as I wish it would, but it's ok. Just like my body. It's serviceable, and nice, nothing to be ashamed of but nothing that would draw attention. I'm satiasfied with that, and glad the purchase is over.