I wish I had something funny, witty, profound to write every day on my blog.
I love reading other people's blogs and I'm disappointed if they don't post everyday. Yet, I hesitate to write my thoughts because they seem quite trivial and uninteresting when I see them in print. But oh well, in the spirit of just writing something, just getting the squeaky, rusty gears in my head moving again, I shall endeavor to let my stream of consciousness flow (that sounds kind of yucky doesn't it).
Today I struggled through another day of subbing at the Jr. High school (I'm there all week), with out coffee! No, I'm not on a health kick, someone (they better hope I never find out who) replaced the old help yourself coffee pot with a new fangled bring your own coffee packet version. I have no idea where to get the packets in order to buy my own, and I detest the idea of begging for one from the office admin. So I'm going without. It doesn't bode well for the students or staff when this is my last week of subbing for the year and I'm non caffeinated. My care and concern level is well below normal. I have visions of sending the kids out to their lockers for the pens, pencils, text books, and brains that they forgot to bring to class, then locking them out and just curling up with a good book for 7 hours. It would make everyone happy. They don't want to be in class, and I don't really want them in there with me either! What I especially dislike is that I have to be honest with myself and realize that I used to be that snotty little sarcastic preteen rolling her eyes at me and chewing gum like her jaw is unhinged. I have to acknowledge that I never did get the purpose of the Pythagorean theorem, and can't think of an instance where I've used that information in real life. I have to pretend that it is of the utmost importance that no one leaves the classroom a minute before the bell rings, and if anyone does there will be dire consequences (which I have yet to think up!) ...
I think I have to stop. This rant is making me tired. I guess I will just suck it up and tick off another day tomorrow, and stop by Timmy's before school...and after!
TTFN
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
Someday....
Sometimes I get so caught up in the chaos of each day that I forget that each day builds upon the previous day until the future has been built upon a whole foundation of chaotic days! Today I just needed to sit and think about what my dreams for the future are, and whether or not I am building that future in the chaos of each day.
Someday...
Someday...
- I hope to have 4 children
- I will be good at keeping my house and staying organized.
- I will spend my summers swimming, camping, wake boarding and going to exciting places with my family and friends.
- I will spend my winters going on ski trips and other adventures with my family and friends.
- I will attend 1 scrap booking retreat per year.
- I will go away with Mike somewhere hot once a year (for fun, not for work).
- I willPlay the piano daily.
- I will Write something worth publishing.
- I will go shopping with my girls and listen to their thoughts and experiences over smoothies in the mall.
- I will go camping with my boys and be the camp cook and cheer them on in their rambuctios adventures, and let them teach me orienteering, and how to skin a deer and other manly skills.
- I will visit my grandparents often and learn the old recipes that fed my childhood summers.
- I will spend time with my parents and enjoy the experience of them enjoying my children's experiences.
I'm delighted to discover that I am well on my way to achieving my dreams. Some of these I am already living, others are in sight. This makes my heart glad and takes my mind off of the little niggiling details that make me feel like I'm a hamster on a wheel going no where. I am going in the direction I want to go, and that makes me happy.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Snow Kidding!
Guess what I did today?
You guessed it...
I crashed my car in to an abandoned vehicle in a snowy ditch!
How did you know?
What a crappy day! I got called in to sub at the high school because some teachers who have to travel quite a distance decided that the roads were too bad. They were right! I wasn't feeling good this morning, so I almost said no, but I didn't work yesterday so I felt like I should just do it since it was bound to be a low attendance/easy day anyway. When I got in the Civic (no I didn't take the Golf because it hasn't got a car starter in it, but I should have!) the radio announcers were telling everyone to stay home if they didn't have to go out...psha! I've driven in worse!
Well about a third of the way to town I hit a patch of ice, I took my foot off the gas, my car started fish tailing, I was scared that I was going to run into an on coming truck, so I probably over steered and that landed me in the ditch! Unfortunately, someone else must have done the same exact thing not long before because right in the middle of the snow bank my car was ploughing, was an SUV. Crash! Crunch! Sob!
I'm fine, no one else was with me, and no one was in or near the SUV. Insurance will take care of everything, I hope, even a rental car starting tomorrow morning.
I thank the Lord that I lived to tell this tale, that my kids weren't with me, that the other driver had already gone to get a tow truck, that we don't own nice new vehicles, that my parents were able to come pick me up (Mike was stuck at home with both kids and no car seats).
I guess this was a wake up call to pay attention and enjoy life! It could have been over for me if I had hit the ditch a moment sooner, or if I had hit the on coming vehicle, or if, if, if....
I need to rejoice in the small trials that I face, and be honoured to participate in life's small victories & celebrations, and I need to savour moments of retreat. I need to complain less and praise and thank more. I need to clean less (don't gasp at the thought) and "huggle" my babies longer. I need to be more mindful of how short a moment is, and consider that only God knows the quantity of my moment rations.
All this to say, I'm glad I'm alive.
You guessed it...
I crashed my car in to an abandoned vehicle in a snowy ditch!
How did you know?
What a crappy day! I got called in to sub at the high school because some teachers who have to travel quite a distance decided that the roads were too bad. They were right! I wasn't feeling good this morning, so I almost said no, but I didn't work yesterday so I felt like I should just do it since it was bound to be a low attendance/easy day anyway. When I got in the Civic (no I didn't take the Golf because it hasn't got a car starter in it, but I should have!) the radio announcers were telling everyone to stay home if they didn't have to go out...psha! I've driven in worse!
Well about a third of the way to town I hit a patch of ice, I took my foot off the gas, my car started fish tailing, I was scared that I was going to run into an on coming truck, so I probably over steered and that landed me in the ditch! Unfortunately, someone else must have done the same exact thing not long before because right in the middle of the snow bank my car was ploughing, was an SUV. Crash! Crunch! Sob!
I'm fine, no one else was with me, and no one was in or near the SUV. Insurance will take care of everything, I hope, even a rental car starting tomorrow morning.
I thank the Lord that I lived to tell this tale, that my kids weren't with me, that the other driver had already gone to get a tow truck, that we don't own nice new vehicles, that my parents were able to come pick me up (Mike was stuck at home with both kids and no car seats).
I guess this was a wake up call to pay attention and enjoy life! It could have been over for me if I had hit the ditch a moment sooner, or if I had hit the on coming vehicle, or if, if, if....
I need to rejoice in the small trials that I face, and be honoured to participate in life's small victories & celebrations, and I need to savour moments of retreat. I need to complain less and praise and thank more. I need to clean less (don't gasp at the thought) and "huggle" my babies longer. I need to be more mindful of how short a moment is, and consider that only God knows the quantity of my moment rations.
All this to say, I'm glad I'm alive.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Mommy have a BAD ATTITUDE!
Today I tried out something that is difficult for me to do.
I changed my mind.
I was freaked out, worried, annoyed and stressed by all the things that I need to do and get done by the end of June. Usually, as my blood pressure rises and my anxiety increases I cry, I get crabby, I get tired, and I sit and do nothing productive.
But
today as the debilitating symptoms of stress began to take hold I got a grip!
I remembered what the pastor read in Philippians today about not worrying, I thought about people who have way bigger problems than I do and I counted my blessings. Next, I put myself in my husband's shoes and realized that he is not asking me to do things that need to be done just to make me miserable, but simply because they need to get done and he needs my help.
I can do that a whole lot better when I'm not immobilized by hysterics.
So I change my mind...I can do what needs to be done. I will do what needs to be done. I want to do what needs to be done, and I will try to do it with a good attitude.
God help me!
I changed my mind.
I was freaked out, worried, annoyed and stressed by all the things that I need to do and get done by the end of June. Usually, as my blood pressure rises and my anxiety increases I cry, I get crabby, I get tired, and I sit and do nothing productive.
But
today as the debilitating symptoms of stress began to take hold I got a grip!
I remembered what the pastor read in Philippians today about not worrying, I thought about people who have way bigger problems than I do and I counted my blessings. Next, I put myself in my husband's shoes and realized that he is not asking me to do things that need to be done just to make me miserable, but simply because they need to get done and he needs my help.
I can do that a whole lot better when I'm not immobilized by hysterics.
So I change my mind...I can do what needs to be done. I will do what needs to be done. I want to do what needs to be done, and I will try to do it with a good attitude.
God help me!
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
10 years in a very large nut shell
97 /98~ 2nd and last year at bible college. Met the man of my dreams, started dating.Worked as a summer student for a natural gas company for the summer. Did the long distance thing with Mike, broke up in the summer, got back together in the fall. Continued Ed Degree at the University. Got an apt. with a friend from home in the best of the worst area of the city. Worked at a dollar store to keep food on the table. It was a blast, ahh the simple worries of college days. Mike bought a house, I helped him with renos (new siding), ahhh young love, you'll do anything to spend time together.
98/99~Worked as Summer Program Coordinator for my home town (basically played with kids all summer) Best job ever! My dream man proposed, I said yes. We set the date for the following summer. Moved back to the city and in with my best friend for one last year of single girl shenanagans; we lived down town and saw many strange and interesting things pass by each day, continued B.Ed studies, continued working at the dollar store.
99/2000~Worked for my parents for the summer (they owned a grocery store back then). Acquired a stray toy poodle days before the wedding (Mike found her and fell in love! Kept her, called her Buzz) Got married on Aug 5th, lived happily ever after...
Ha ha!
2000/2001~continued last year of Ed Degree. the practicum was soul killing, I hated it, I quit! Enjoyed playing house with Mike, most of the time (except the cooking and cleaning part), got a job working at a group home for people with developmental delays. Mike quit at car audio store, painted pipe around my home town for the summer (yes we did the long distance thing again) and then got a job with the local cable company. Got another dog to keep Buzz company. An American Eskimo this time, named Sebastian, enjoyed being D.I.N.Ks.(double income no kids)
2001/2002~Decided to sell house, pay off credit cards, buy a vw golf desiel and a 15' Boler trailer and go on a road trip. Spent 1 month fishing on Vancouver Island, ambled up to NWT for a few misquito swatting days, headed to AB & SK for some R&R with friends and family. Returned to home in the fall for our good friends M & B's wedding. No idea what to do with ourselves upon return. Moved to my home town, lived in a shop. Mike was going to flip vehicles (fix up good deals & sell them), I waitressed then completed my Ed Degree by doing my practicum at my old Jr. High with my former teacher. It was great, I didn't hate it and I didn't quit this time. After I finished my practicum we decided to move back to the city, but I worked for my parents for the summer(long distance AGAIN!) no grocery store, this time I worked their campground concession. Mike moved back to the city to work for a car audio store again, this time in sales. Once summer was over I joined Mike in the city and waitressed at a pizza joint(it sucked) then a pasta place (it didn't suck quite as much, but still sucked).
2002/2003~ I graduated with B.Ed Degree, continued to waitress, Mike was doing great in car audio he was consistently top in sales, but he also hated working for a boss and dreamed of owning his own business, I got a job at an insurance company doing data entry and claims adjustments. I grew up doing retail, so I LOVED having an office job (something different), I LOVED working downtown, I didn't even mind taking the bus (except on crappy cold days). Went bear hunting that spring, talk about crazy! I'll never do that again, ask me about it next time you want to hear another long story.
2003/2004~ continued to enjoy being DINKS. Our favorite activities included: shopping at Ikea (me), wake boarding (both), going to movies (both), Lattes at Chapters (me), hunting (Mike), camping (both), drop in Volleyball with friends (both), being general all around city slickers (me).
2004/2005~decided to quit our jobs, move in with my parents back in my home town to pursue the dream of starting our own business, a Mobile Ice cream concession, only to find out once we were homeless and jobless that we were expecting baby #1!!!!!!!!!!!!! Recovered from shock, I began subbing at the local School Div, found a place to rent, built an ice cream concession out of an old moving truck, went on the road as carnies! Whoo Hooo! After working our final spot of the summer, and while hanging around visiting Mike's sister & family, and trying to decide if we should sell ice cream at the up coming home show, our son Dade was born. That was the best day of my life!
2005/2006~took the fall off to enjoy being parents and to celebrate the success of our concession that summer. Returned to Subbing after Christmas (agony to leave baby boy at first). Decided to go ice cream pedaling again, found out we were expecting again! Another summer on the road and prego!
2006/2007~Took the fall off once again. After the hectic summers we need the down time. We start working again after Christmas. Jan 2007 we just got home from Christmas with Mike's family and 4 days later our daughter, Matia was born. That was the next best day of my life! I love being a Mom more than anything else in the world. In spite of how hectic and messy and sticky and poopy it can be, it is also full of smiles and kisses and hugs and giggles and I wouldn't change it for the world!
2007/2008~ Enjoyed a mat leave this time, started subbing again in Feb. We're gearing up for another summer on the road. In addition we have just purchased property near the city. We will be moving there between mid may and end of June. We will need to develop the property (utilities, road, well) and also renovate an old 1979 mobile home we acquired this year. We will subdivide our property and sell the mobile & one parcel and move on to either build or acquire another mobile for the other part of the subdivision and live in that till we can sell it too. It is going to be a CRAZY summer, crazier than all the other summers combined! But it will be great too.
We are living very blessed and unusual lives. We look forward to new adventures each year and hold onto each other tight and try to enjoy the ride. We hope to have more kids in the future, but we're take a little break for now. God has great things in store for us, we just have to be willing to step out in faith.
98/99~Worked as Summer Program Coordinator for my home town (basically played with kids all summer) Best job ever! My dream man proposed, I said yes. We set the date for the following summer. Moved back to the city and in with my best friend for one last year of single girl shenanagans; we lived down town and saw many strange and interesting things pass by each day, continued B.Ed studies, continued working at the dollar store.
99/2000~Worked for my parents for the summer (they owned a grocery store back then). Acquired a stray toy poodle days before the wedding (Mike found her and fell in love! Kept her, called her Buzz) Got married on Aug 5th, lived happily ever after...
Ha ha!
2000/2001~continued last year of Ed Degree. the practicum was soul killing, I hated it, I quit! Enjoyed playing house with Mike, most of the time (except the cooking and cleaning part), got a job working at a group home for people with developmental delays. Mike quit at car audio store, painted pipe around my home town for the summer (yes we did the long distance thing again) and then got a job with the local cable company. Got another dog to keep Buzz company. An American Eskimo this time, named Sebastian, enjoyed being D.I.N.Ks.(double income no kids)
2001/2002~Decided to sell house, pay off credit cards, buy a vw golf desiel and a 15' Boler trailer and go on a road trip. Spent 1 month fishing on Vancouver Island, ambled up to NWT for a few misquito swatting days, headed to AB & SK for some R&R with friends and family. Returned to home in the fall for our good friends M & B's wedding. No idea what to do with ourselves upon return. Moved to my home town, lived in a shop. Mike was going to flip vehicles (fix up good deals & sell them), I waitressed then completed my Ed Degree by doing my practicum at my old Jr. High with my former teacher. It was great, I didn't hate it and I didn't quit this time. After I finished my practicum we decided to move back to the city, but I worked for my parents for the summer(long distance AGAIN!) no grocery store, this time I worked their campground concession. Mike moved back to the city to work for a car audio store again, this time in sales. Once summer was over I joined Mike in the city and waitressed at a pizza joint(it sucked) then a pasta place (it didn't suck quite as much, but still sucked).
2002/2003~ I graduated with B.Ed Degree, continued to waitress, Mike was doing great in car audio he was consistently top in sales, but he also hated working for a boss and dreamed of owning his own business, I got a job at an insurance company doing data entry and claims adjustments. I grew up doing retail, so I LOVED having an office job (something different), I LOVED working downtown, I didn't even mind taking the bus (except on crappy cold days). Went bear hunting that spring, talk about crazy! I'll never do that again, ask me about it next time you want to hear another long story.
2003/2004~ continued to enjoy being DINKS. Our favorite activities included: shopping at Ikea (me), wake boarding (both), going to movies (both), Lattes at Chapters (me), hunting (Mike), camping (both), drop in Volleyball with friends (both), being general all around city slickers (me).
2004/2005~decided to quit our jobs, move in with my parents back in my home town to pursue the dream of starting our own business, a Mobile Ice cream concession, only to find out once we were homeless and jobless that we were expecting baby #1!!!!!!!!!!!!! Recovered from shock, I began subbing at the local School Div, found a place to rent, built an ice cream concession out of an old moving truck, went on the road as carnies! Whoo Hooo! After working our final spot of the summer, and while hanging around visiting Mike's sister & family, and trying to decide if we should sell ice cream at the up coming home show, our son Dade was born. That was the best day of my life!
2005/2006~took the fall off to enjoy being parents and to celebrate the success of our concession that summer. Returned to Subbing after Christmas (agony to leave baby boy at first). Decided to go ice cream pedaling again, found out we were expecting again! Another summer on the road and prego!
2006/2007~Took the fall off once again. After the hectic summers we need the down time. We start working again after Christmas. Jan 2007 we just got home from Christmas with Mike's family and 4 days later our daughter, Matia was born. That was the next best day of my life! I love being a Mom more than anything else in the world. In spite of how hectic and messy and sticky and poopy it can be, it is also full of smiles and kisses and hugs and giggles and I wouldn't change it for the world!
2007/2008~ Enjoyed a mat leave this time, started subbing again in Feb. We're gearing up for another summer on the road. In addition we have just purchased property near the city. We will be moving there between mid may and end of June. We will need to develop the property (utilities, road, well) and also renovate an old 1979 mobile home we acquired this year. We will subdivide our property and sell the mobile & one parcel and move on to either build or acquire another mobile for the other part of the subdivision and live in that till we can sell it too. It is going to be a CRAZY summer, crazier than all the other summers combined! But it will be great too.
We are living very blessed and unusual lives. We look forward to new adventures each year and hold onto each other tight and try to enjoy the ride. We hope to have more kids in the future, but we're take a little break for now. God has great things in store for us, we just have to be willing to step out in faith.
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