These days it seems like every other woman I see has a bump, or a chubby cuddly SLEEPING baby in her arms. Strollers of every shape and color roll through even my dreams! I have been flipping through my kids baby pictures and sighing, and Mike has been telling customers with infants to stand well back from the concession in case I snatch their precious bundles and gobble them up! Do I have the baby bug?
How could I? My babies are still small. I have vowed to have M out of diapers before any more poopy people join the family. Also, we have things on the go! I mean I couldn't get pregnant now because that would put the due date just a few weeks ahead of our first ice cream spot next May! The fact that I've done the dates is evidence enough for my state of mind. Still, we have a trailer to renovate, which involves heavy lifting, and we don't even know what the future holds!
Wait, I'll never know what the future holds.
However, I am already plagued by worries about the state of the world that I have brought my children into, and I have done very little to rectify the world's sate, so why would I think now is a good time to start thinking about baby #3? In fact I think I have actually worsened the state of the world because frankly, I've been too lazy to recycle my bottles and cans this summer! Gasp! I know! Shameful!
I think what I'm going to do is enjoy this urge to bring forth life. I wonder if it will be any less terrifying and shocking to plan a pregnancy, when and if we indeed decide to plan one, than our other two surprise gifts from God. Somehow I think it will be just as nerve wracking, delightful, emotional and amazing as before.
Now, before anyone starts spreading rumors, I'm just THINKING about this, I barely even have a the proverbial "twinkle" in my eye. I simply want to savor the desire to have a baby. I will probably savor this feeling for a year or two...or not. It's up to God and his perfect timing. In the mean time I'll stick to kissing and hugging baby 1 & baby 2 who are growing up at light speed, and I'll have super sparkley eyes (Oh ya, and I'll start recycling).
Oh, I get that feeling. I've got it too! Only, I won't be having any more babies. You're right to enjoy the anticipation. Once all our pregnancy/baby days are over they're just gone...savor these days of your options being open ;-)
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I had no idea you were feeling this way! See, this is why blogging it good! And I'm so glad you know that God has perfect timing because that's what my comments was going to be about.
ReplyDeleteYup, keep making the world better by recycling and bringing beautiful, godly children into the world! 9 months is enough time to potty train!
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