What am I supposed to be learning here anyway?

So this is a blog for learning about me and who I "em", so what am I learning these days?
I'm learning that I have a serious battle with negative thoughts. I look around at all my blessings each day, yet I am still able to grumble about everything even my blessings!
I'm learning that I'm nicer to strangers than to my DH most of the time.
I'm learning that I'm very prideful and distrustful. I want to tell God what to do in my life and I even go so far as to tell him how to do it! For some reason, in spite of all the evidence to the contrary, I have this feeling that God has it in for me. I'm learning that I am bombarded with lies and evil thoughts every moment of every day, it's exhausting.
But...
I'm also learning to listen to the Holy Spirit. To apologize when he prompts me. To chose true, right and lovely thoughts in place of the negative ones when he shows me the cycle of anger, doubt and selfishness that are making me miserable. To humble myself and obey my DH even when I want to give him an earful, only by the strength of the Holy Spirit living in me.

Until I started reading Acts & Romans I hadn't given the Holy Spirit much thought, just ya ya he's part of me and I'm saved. I had never thought about how I need to surrender my will and follow his promptings in order to be happy and healthy and to have an abundant life.
I can't say it is fun or easy, and quite honestly I feel kind of sad and tired from all the struggling to put down my pride and obey God. I thought being a long time Christian, I would have a bit of a handle on this by now, but I'm still quite young and childish in spirit I guess. Lots of learning and falling down and getting up again to do.