Mommy Fail

I have been wishing for years to stay home full time with my kids and be the mommy who does crafts and games and walks and talks. It's going to happen very soon now. My DH is starting a new business and I'll have the pleasure of kissing him good bye in the mornings and welcoming him home with supper and a smile in the evenings. That all sounds fine and dandy, but today in my role as a stay at home mom I yelled, I stomped around, I whined, I criticized, I belittled, I complained and I grumped. Sure I had excuses for my behavior, but the reasons are not justified as I reflect on the character I exhibited and the character I want to instill in my children. I know there will be days like this, but I'm glad that I feel bad about it now that the dust has settled. In fact I felt bad about it the entire time I was behaving that way. Why didn't I stop myself? I should feel bad about it, no matter how easy it is to understand why I would feel the need to exhibit my emotions in such a way. It was still wrong and I have so much to learn. Thank the Lord that he does not treat me the way I treated my children today. I pray that I will learn some of the self control that I am trying to teach my children so that I can set a better example in the coming days, weeks, months and years. I failed today, but I don't want to fail forever. Lord change my heart, change my actions, change my words.