When a person is in the midst of chaos it is nice to receive a helping hand. I have been receiving many, and what a blessing it is.
Here's the thing...
I am struggling with guilt. I feel guilty for accepting help, I feel guilty for even needing help. Very silly, I know. It's times like these that I realize how proud I really am, to think that I can do everything to such a degree that it is hard to allow others to bless me with their help and kind words. I think I just need to unload these feelings and then maybe they won't have so much power over me.
I feel guilty for leaving my children with family & friends at times over the summer
I feel guilty for not shampooing my carpets before we move
I feel guilty for accepting all the help we clearly need to move all our stuff
I feel guilty for not being as organized as I'd like to be
I feel guilty for not being able to find as much staff as we need for our summer business
As I type this I shake my head, that is crazy! If someone said these things to me I'd say...
It is a blessing to help others, so why taint the blessing with the bitter reluctance of guilt, instead be grateful and let others know how much their help means to you.
Pay it forward. Someday you will have a chance to help someone else, do it with joy when you see the opportunity.
Use the help to the utmost advantage; while friends & family watch your kids be sure to focus on the work at hand and do it to the best of your ability, use the time to bless others (like your DH) as you are able.
Do not impose guilt when you've done your best - what more can you do? What more is expected than to do your best? If you have done that there should be no guilt. If you haven't done your best, do your best to make amends then move on with the resolve to continue to do your best, with what you have, where you are.
How can I argue with that? I'm not going to, I'm going to run off and leave my kids in capable hands knowing that their grandparents love them and are blessed to spend time with them. I'm going to be glad for all the willing hands moving my stuff and keeping me from utter demoralization, and be ready to help the next time anyone of them need a hand. I'm going to work my heart out and I'm going to try to be as nice as possible to my DH, since I won't have to focus on any little peoples' needs for periods of time. I'm going to try to relax and find my joy in the Lord each day.
Hopefully, I can bless while being blessed.
between my four babies in 2 1/2 yrs, Jake deploying over 200 days a year for all of that, and two bouts with post pardem depression I have been in this spot for a very long time...I STILL struggle with the guilt, I always tease and say that one of the things no one tells you before you have kids is that when you birth children you birth guilt right along with them.
ReplyDeleteit is totally NOT from God. no doubt.
I am still learning, I accept the help better now, but it still stings!
(boy, was that encouraging...I just meant to say you're soooo normal and not alone in your feelings!)
Yes, the guilt comes right along with motherhood. It seems to be something we all struggle with! You're exactly right in what you would tell a friend. Sometimes being being our own friend is difficult to do and we can be harder on ourselves than on others. Good for you for trying to relax and allow the help of others in your life! Sometimes you're the giver, sometimes you're the give-ee :-)
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